Mary and the Cross

 

By Daniel Amari

 

The Cross

 

John 19:25-27  25 but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.  26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!"  27 Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

 

Many have wondered where was Mary, the mother of Jesus, during the events of the passion of Christ and his crucifixion. What was her attitude? What did she say and what did she do? If we examine the whole Bible, we find only one reference about her concerning the passion, John 19:25-27. Basically, Mary stood with her sister with the disciples of Christ at a distance from the cross. Jesus noticed that Mary was standing and he introduced her to the one who would be taking care of her. This particular incident was completely ignored by Matthew, Mark and Luke. It was only mentioned by John. This is very understandable, since John would not have mentioned it if it were not for the fact that he was the one given this assignment. This led many authors over the long centuries to abandon the biblical accounts and pursue fictional accounts about Mary, even assigning a theological role for her. I submit to the reader that these few verses, though brief, present a rich, accurate and historical picture of Mary and the cross. This picture can only be realized if it is seen from the context of the whole synoptic gospels. I urge the reader to spend the time read the verses presented.

 

If we compare this text to the parallel accounts of the other synoptic gospels, we find the following important testimonies:

 

 Mark 15:40-41 40 There were also women looking on from a distance, among whom were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses, and Salome.  41 When he was in Galilee, they followed him and ministered to him, and there were also many other women who came up with him to Jerusalem.

 

Matthew 27:55-56 55 There were also many women there, looking on from a distance, who had followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering to him, 56 among whom were Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James and Joseph and the mother of the sons of Zebedee.

 

Luke 23:49 49 And all his acquaintances and the women who had followed him from Galilee stood at a distance watching these things.

 

Mark and Matthew took the time to recognize several women who followed Jesus and were active in the ministry of Jesus. Yet, Mary was not mentioned. The reader might ponder why Mary was not mentioned when she was clearly standing by the other women. Some of the women were from Jerusalem and some followed Jesus from Galilee. There were also the acquaintances of Jesus. When we study the accounts of the gospels, we find that Mary did not follow Jesus to Jerusalem except for one notable incident, which we will cover later in some details. She was not from Jerusalem and She did not move there. She was always in Galilee. Therefore, it is not surprising that she, the mother of Jesus, was not recognized.  Her ministry was the bearing the Son of God. She was not one of those who “ministered to him.” This should not be shocking news because it is very consistent with the text of the Bible.

 

She was not present during the trials of Christ.

 

John 18:15-16 15 Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he entered with Jesus into the court of the high priest,  16 but Peter stood outside at the door. So the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to the servant girl who kept watch at the door, and brought Peter in.

 

Only John and Peter entered the court and witnessed the trials. The rest of the disciples ran away. If Mary were present during the trials, John would have mentioned her as he had mentioned her at the cross. If she had any role even if it was insignificant, the WHOLE New Testament would have mentioned it repeatedly.

 

Moreover, she did not accompany Jesus on the road to the cross. Let’s read:

 

Luke 23:27-31 27 And there followed him a great multitude of the people and of women who were mourning and lamenting for him.  28 But turning to them Jesus said, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children.  29 For behold, the days are coming when they will say, 'Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!'  30 Then they will begin to say to the mountains, 'Fall on us,' and to the hills, 'Cover us.'  31 For if they do these things when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?"

 

Only the women of Jerusalem followed him; many of who ministered to him and his disciples during his ministry. The most fascinating thing is that Christ took the time to speak to them. He took the time to console them. Even during his suffering, Christ was still ministering to his followers and to those in need. It is not that others were consoling and helping Jesus, but Jesus was consoling them. Again, We do not see Mary here. She was not from Jerusalem and she was not mentioned. If she were there, she would have been mentioned by John. If She had any role even if it is insignificant, it would have been mentioned not just by the synoptic gospels but also by Pauline letters and the rest of the New Testament.

 

Mary stood at a distance and for not a long period of time. Read on:

 

Luke 23:49  49 And all his acquaintances and the women who had followed him from Galilee stood at a distance watching these things.

 

John 19:25-27  25 but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.  26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!"  27 Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

 

Mary stood at a distance. Not a very far, but close enough distance to hear Jesus. Then Jesus introduced Mary to John as the one who will be taking care of her physically. John took Mary to his own home or part of his own household from that “hour”. The “hour” refers to the whole event of the passion of Christ.  Prior to this introduction, John was not responsible for her nor was he with her.  Only from the time of the cross, John took care of Mary by providing her a shelter as the text insists.

 

But is this the entire story about Mary and the Cross?  Absolutely not. There is a powerful story behind this text that requires our full attention. I submit to the reader that the most fascinating point is that she actually was with the disciples! In order to understand the significance of this statement, one has to study the background context of the whole story. Let us Read On:

 

 

The Expectations

 

Luk 1:46-55  Mary said, "My heart praises the Lord; 47  my soul is glad because of God my Savior, 48  for he has remembered me, his lowly servant! From now on all people will call me happy, 49  because of the great things the Mighty God has done for me. His name is holy; 50  from one generation to another he shows mercy to those who honor him. 51  He has stretched out his mighty arm and scattered the proud with all their plans. 52  He has brought down mighty kings from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly. 53  He has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away with empty hands. 54  He has kept the promise he made to our ancestors, and has come to the help of his servant Israel. 55  He has remembered to show mercy to Abraham and to all his descendants forever!"

 

The above text was Mary’s reply to Elizabeth. The reader may recall that the angel Gabriel brought exciting news to Mary about the birth of the Messiah, which will be covered, in details in a future article. Gabriel also told Mary that Elizabeth was pregnant as well. So Mary visited her. Mary’s reply to Elizabeth tells us exactly what were her expectations and what was her theology. It tells us about her inner thoughts. Mary was hinted by the angel that she could confide in Elizabeth, and that Elizabeth would understand because the Lord had done to her a great miracle as well. The following are some observations about her reply:

 

First, She worshipped and praised the Lord because the Messiah had come.

 

Second, she recognized that she was a sinner and that God alone was her savior and that she like everybody else needed salvation. Devout Jews always believed that God was their salvation; and God was the one responsible for taking their sins away. The Angel’s clearly declared that Messiah would save his people from their sins.

 

Third, she recognized that she did not have anything special to deserve the honor to bear the Messiah. She did not come from a rich family. She was not a daughter of the chief priest or even an ordinary priest. She was not ultra righteous girl. She was simply an innocent young Jewish maiden from Nazareth who was looking forward to getting married. All the Jewish girls were dreaming that they would be the mothers of the Messiah and they would be treated like Queens. They were told the stories about how Solomon treated his Mother as a Queen:

 

1 Kings 2:19-20  19 So Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak on Adonijah's behalf. The king rose from his throne to meet her, and he bowed down before her. When he sat down on his throne again, he ordered that a throne be brought for his mother, and she sat at his right hand.  20 "I have one small request to make of you," she said. "I hope you won't turn me down." "What is it, my mother?" he asked. "You know I won't refuse you."

 

Now she was the fortunate one to have this honor DESPITE her humble background and her lowly position. But from “now on”, her people would recognize this as so and would evaluate her as  “makariosin”, which means fortunate or happy. This word is different from “blessed,” which is used in different text and different context. I chose the above translation because it accurately reflects the original Greek text of the Bible.

 

Fourth, She expected that the Messiah would establish the Kingdom of Israel. She expected that finally the Lord would receive Israel again. In other words, the nation of Israel was defeated by the Romans but the Messiah would restore the honor, glory and promises to the nation. The Romans would be defeated and Israel would flourish.

 

What does this all mean? Clearly, her expectations were the expectation of any ordinary Jewish girl living in that time. The cross was not part of the expectations, and the rest of the world was not part of the salvation. Her expectation was simply Israel would be restored and She would be a queen. That is it. But very importantly, her theology was positively and accurately Jewish one. She was proud of her heritage as a Jew and she followed all of the Jewish customs as the biblical text demonstrates. Furthermore, her understanding was about an earthly kingdom. Where her expectations fulfilled? Let us read on.

 

 

The Warning

 

Luke 2:25-35 25 And behold, there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon, and this man was just and devout, waiting for the Consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him.  26 And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord's Christ.  27 So he came by the Spirit into the temple. And when the parents brought in the Child Jesus, to do for Him according to the custom of the law, 28 he took Him up in his arms and blessed God and said:  29 "Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace, According to Your word; 30 For my eyes have seen Your salvation 31 Which You have prepared before the face of all peoples,  32 A light to bring revelation to the Gentiles, And the glory of Your people Israel."  33 And Joseph and His mother marveled at those things which were spoken of Him.  34 Then Simeon blessed them, and said to Mary His mother, "Behold, this Child is destined for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign which will be spoken against 35 "(yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul also), that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed."

 

This is one of the most of significant passages of the Bible and it is very often misunderstood. This event occurred when Joseph and Mary took Jesus to be dedicated at the temple. I will divide the passage into three parts:

 

First, Simon looked at Jesus and said that he is the salvation before all NATIONS. True that he will be glory of Israel; but he is also LIGHT to the gentiles. In other words, Jesus is the salvation for ALL human kind. The Messiah is not just for the Jews and is not just for Israel. The Messiah is for the whole world. What a striking difference between his prayers and what Mary expected. But to be fair it was not just Mary’s own expectation. Let us move on.

 

Second, Joseph and Mary were marveled! Their expectations were completely different about Jesus. It was not what they were accustomed to hear. This was very significant because so many times Mary did not understand the theology, the prophecies or even her own role.  She did not understand that the Messiah was to be the salvation and the light of the entire world. But was this the only expectation she missed?

 

Third, Simon told her-He did not tell Joseph but told her- that Jesus will be a STUMBLING block. Many will be stumbled because of him. Albert Barnes commented on this:

 

“The fall - The word “fall” here denotes “misery, suffering, disappointment,” or “ruin.” There is a plain reference to the passage where it is said that he should be “a stone of stumbling and a rock of offence,” Isa_8:14-15. Many expected a temporal prince, and in this they were disappointed.”[i]

 

Furthermore, Simon told her that many would speak against him. They will accuse him of being of the devil. As a result of this, their thoughts and intentions will be revealed. Let me repeat, Simon said that Jesus will be a Stumbling block and many will speak against him.

 

 

What happened to the good news? This sounds like a bad news. Here is worse news. A sword will strike Mary’s heart. What does this mean? It implies the following:

 

·        The sword of the cruel accusations of men: Psalm 57:4  4 My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts- the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Her own people did not call her happy. But accused her of adultery. They did not recognize that the Virgin birth was the act of God, but the act of fornication:

John 8:19..41  19 They said to him therefore, "Where is your Father?" Jesus answered, "You know neither me nor my Father. If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” …39 They answered him, "Abraham is our father." Jesus said to them, "If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing what Abraham did,  40 but now you seek to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. This is not what Abraham did.  41 You are doing what your father did." They said to him, "We were not born of sexual immorality. We have one Father- even God."

·        The sword of unfulfilled expectations. Her own expectation will not be fulfilled. A nation of Israel will not be established. Rome will not be defeated. She will not be a Queen. Jesus will not be supported by Political Jewish Authority of his time. In fact, he will be spoken against; he will be attacked and he will be opposed. But furthermore, she, Mary, will stumble because her own expectations were not fulfilled.

 

Some try to suggest that this sword denotes the grief and disappointment she will suffer at the cross. But this view is completely unbiblical. First, the context of this text does not speak of the cross but of stumbling and verbal accusations.  Second, the synoptic accounts clearly show that Mary stumbled in Christ and that Mary was accused of adultery. Third, Mary did not have any role, even insignificant one, in the suffering of Christ, as we have seen. Fourth, this view completely opposes prophecies about Christ:

 

Psalm 69:8-12  8 I have become a stranger to my brothers, And an alien to my mother's children;  9 Because zeal for Your house has eaten me up, And the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me.  10 When I wept and chastened my soul with fasting, That became my reproach.  11 I also made sackcloth my garment; I became a byword to them.  12 Those who sit in the gate speak against me, And I am the song of the drunkards.

Psalm 69:20-21  20 Reproach has broken my heart, And I am full of heaviness; I looked for someone to take pity, but there was none; And for comforters, but I found none.  21 They also gave me gall for my food, And for my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.

 

 

It was precisely because NONE of his family, friends, and disciples stood with him in his own trials that added to his sufferings. The fact that his family opposed him and even spoke against him was a fulfillment of the prophecy. But when and where did Mary stumble in Christ?

 

The Stumbling

 

Mark 3:21-35  21 When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind… 31 Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him.  32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."  33 "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.  34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers!  35 Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."

 

This is one of the most amazing passages that despite most theologians understand, it is not well known. It can be divided into the following sequences:

 

First, Jesus started his ministry and chose his disciples. Prior to this, he was the main breadwinner for his family for Joseph was dead at this point. During Cana’s wedding, Jesus said to Mary, “John 2:4 And Jesus said to her, "Woman, what do I have to do with you? My hour has not yet come." Dr. DA Carson[ii] states eloquently, “We must not avoid the conclusion that Jesus by rebuking his mother, however courteously, declares, at the beginning of his ministry, his utter freedom from any kind of human advice, agenda or manipulation.” He also adds, “It is a remarkable fact that everywhere Mary appears during the course of Jesus’ ministry, Jesus is at pains to establish distance between them… For no-one could this lesson have been more difficult than for Jesus’ mother; perhaps that was part of the sword that would pierce her soul.” The weddings passage will be fully analyzed in a future article but it is sufficient for us to understand that there was complete separation between Jesus’ ministry and Mary.

 

Second, in Mark 3-21 passage, his family heard of his ministry. In particular, they heard about the events in which Jesus opposed the Jewish Authority, healed on the Sabbath, and caused many to stumble. His family had been embarrassed by his ministry. But clearly he was an embarrassment to the Jewish mother who strongly conformed to all Jewish religious customs. Some might suggest that she claimed that he was out of his mind to save him from the Jewish authority. Some might suggest that she was pressured by her children, the brothers of Christ. We do not know why exactly but we do know that she thought he was out of his mind and she was part of the group that set out to take charge of him.

 

 

Third, observe that when his family heard this, they started a journey or set out to bring him to his house in verse 21. They did not arrive yet. In the mean time, the Jewish Authority accused Jesus of being possessed with a demon and sent some to debate him. They were closer in distance to Christ so they arrived earlier than his family. In verse 31, his family arrived.

 

Fourth, when Mary and her children arrived, they stood outside. There is one reference that suggests the crowd kept them outside. Luke 8:19 “Then his mother and his brothers came to him, but they could not reach him because of the crowd.” Jesus refused to meet them.

 

Let the reader not miss the following three observations:

 

1)     Mary stood outside. Robertson paints a grim picture of this event, Pathetic picture of the mother and brothers standing on the outside of the house thinking that Jesus inside is beside himself and wanting to take him home. They were crowded out.”[iii] Matthew Henry comments as well on this, The disrespect which Christ's kindred, according to the flesh, showed to him, when he was preaching (and they knew very well that he was then in his element); they not only stood without, having no desire to come in, and hear him, but they sent in a message to call him out to them, as if he must leave his work, to hearken to their impertinences.”[iv]  Mary was not part of Jesus inner circle. Her intention in this instance was not to learn from him. Jesus recognized this, pointed to his disciples and said that they are his true mother, brothers and sisters.

2)     Jesus said, “Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother.” In other words, according to Jesus, Mary and her children were not doing God’s will at that time.

3)     The clear implications are of course that physical relationships do not translate into spiritual relationships. The fact that Mary was his physical mother did not translate into a spiritual role. This is not a reactionary teaching of the Lord. He always taught the same and was very consistent in his relationship with Mary: She was like any other woman to him.

4)     This incident demonstrates that Mary was not a perfect sinless woman. But a normal woman with sins and weaknesses like any other human. She did not have the great theological insights or deep prophetical understanding. She was not the spiritual warrior nor she was the holy saint with superior spiritual roles.

 

The picture this passage imprints on our mind is one of a stumbled woman with children who refused to believe in Christ and relatives that were very hostile to Jesus. She had to choose between losing all for Christ and between her children, her family, her society and her culture. The disciples made their choice when they told Jesus that they left everything and followed him. One might ponder why Mary stumbled in Christ? How could she, the mother who received the message from the angel, resist the ministry of Jesus? Did she return to the Lord? What was her reaction at the cross?

 

The Cross: The Promise of God

 

John 19:25-27  25 but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.  26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Woman, behold, your son!"  27 Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

 

We return back to the cross where Mary, the mother of Jesus, was standing at a distance from the cross. The most fascinating aspect of this picture is that Mary was standing by the disciples. Mary made a choice. She chose to be with the disciples instead of her children. She came as a repentant woman at the cross. It was the irony of the ironies: The cross, the symbol of stumbling, was the means of God the Father to provide the salvation for the world. What was the most stumbling to this Jewish woman was exactly the source of her own salvation. God did not make her a queen. God did not defeat the Romans. But Jesus became her Savior. Furthermore, the Lord Jesus provided not just for her spiritual need but also for her physical one. She could not have returned back to her unbelieving children; not after she had abandoned them for Jesus. She needed a shelter and someone to take care of her as a mother. And the Lord provided for her. A good question is, why did not her own physical children, the brothers of Jesus, take care of her? The answer requires chapters of study but John provided an insight on why:

 

John 7:5 5 For not even his brothers believed in him.

 

The Story of Mary demonstrates God’s faithfulness in bringing his promises to fulfillment. Mary in her journey of faith received promises. She made up her own expectations, which led to stumbling. But she could not receive fulfillment of the promises until she took the step of faith in obedience to the word and plan of Christ. Finally, one might ask whether she continued with the disciples? What about her children, did they continue in their state of disbelief?

 

1 Corinthians 15:7  7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles.

Acts 1:14  14 All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers.

 

The Lord Jesus appeared to James, his brother, after the resurrection. Mary spent her life with the disciples, fellowshipping with them and learning with them. James became one of the primary elders of the church of Jerusalem and Jude his brother became one as well. Both wrote the two books of the Bible.

 

 

 



[i] Albert Barnes' Notes on the Bible

[ii] The Gospel According to John; The PILLAR NEW TESTAMENT COMMENTARY, P. 171

[iii] A.T. Robertson. Word Pictures in the New Testament

[iv] Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible

 

 

Copyright © 2004 by Daniel Amari. All rights reserved.