Follow the Heart or the Mind
When making a decision
regarding a relationship, do you go with your heart or your mind?
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I think it's important to
listen to the mind, speaking particularly to men. Men's hearts (or at least mine) can easily be swayed by appearances,
but the mind looks for, or should look for, the character that matters much
more than appearances or lustful ideas.
It was my wife's character that really drew me to her, even after
about two years of not even seeing or contacting her. I knew she was a woman of good character,
and that's what mattered. I had been
in other relationships that started with attraction, or the
"heart," but they didn't last. Matt Birchmeier Married Kalamazoo MI |
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I always pray about things
before I make my decision. In general, I go with my mind. Christine Najjar Single Chicago, Illinois |
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If we only use our
emotions (heart), we become somewhat immature. If we only use our reasoning (mind), we can become cold. So, we need both to work together to bring
balance. I believe if one is walking
with the Lord, and is sincerely seeking to please Him in everything, the Lord
will guide him. Of course, in the
matter of so great importance - as seeking a spouse - having parents' input
is a great help. They know their
child better than anyone, and they also can make a great assessment of the
prospective spouse, judging the personality, etc. Don't forget, though, that
with even the best prospects, there is still always a risk, as God has given
us free will. Irene Portokalis Married Chicago, Illinois |
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I use four things to make
decisions regarding relationships: common sense, Biblical principles,
instinct, and my emotions. Fred Amari Single Chicago |
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The heart and mind go
together when making wise decisions. Whenever in doubt, you can pray to God
and ask his advice. He always answers prayers. Jennie I think you should go with
both. When you say “heart” the prospective is emotional. When you base things on emotions there are
a lot of impulses involved. You need your mind to decipher your
emotions. And if you can satisfy both
your heart and mind, you come up with reasonable decision. Richard Richard and Jennie Labib Married for 4 months Chicago, Illinois |
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When making that decision,
I believe in giving an equal balance in judging both what the heart and mind
truly desire. Once we have a
biblically founded relationship, the final decision should consider both the
strengths and weaknesses in a relationship (using the mind - and biblical
character guide lines), and then measure the potential for spiritual,
emotional, and physical attraction and growth this relationship can
culture. Some times our vision or
insight is limited, so when making a choice, God should be asked to be
involved in giving direction and discernment so He can allow us to see beyond
our own understanding. Sandra Haddad Single Houston, Texas |
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When you are in tune with
God, Your Mind and Heart will be on the same page. Sami Labib Married for 32 years Chicago, Illinois |
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I think we should relay
first on the mind – but first we ought to train our mind to think
biblically. Our behavior and feelings
are greatly impacted by how we think.
In Romans 12:2, the Bible says, “Do not conform any longer to the
pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then
you will be able to test and approve what God's will is–his good, pleasing
and perfect will”(Romans 12:2).
Sometimes, our mind fails us; at that point, we have to take a step of
faith. Lois Amari Chicago, Illinois Single |
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Choosing the person we
will spend most of our life with, and with whom we will share our hopes, our
dreams, our innermost thoughts and our pains, is an important decision that
will impact the rest of our life. Our
emotions are unstable, and fluctuate and change as we grow through the years;
therefore, if we make decision based on emotions, it is like building on
sands. In other words, relying on
emotions alone won’t be wise enough to build a life long lasting relationship. On the other hand, the Bible instructs us
to trust in the Lord from all our hearts and to lean not on our own
understanding. Since only God is
omniscient therefore my mind reasoning should not be the basis to dictate my
sense of satisfaction or happiness, but as a believer I have an added
component in the decision-making process, and that is the Holy Spirit of
God. I mean, as I have a
responsibility to walk submissively to His leadership, I should walk in a
fashion that I am led by, guided by, enabled by, overshadowed by the one who
is the source of my life, that I have someone in the inside of me who will
guide me to what He has planned for my life. John Mac Arthur comments “
Don’t seek only to get married – don’t take any plane that is leaving the
airport- figure out where you want to go before you get on, you seek to honor
Christ in your life and honor Him in a relationship, so, let God bring about
a marriage”. Mina A Rezkallah single Mississauga Ontario
–Canada |
